Former Green Co-leader appointed to UN top job

Former Green Party co-leader Jeanette Fitzsimons has put weeks of speculation to rest and confirmed she has been appointed to the role of Secretary General of the United Nations.

Ms Fitzsimons, who retired from Parliament in February, was initially looking forward to spending more time at home on her Coromandel farm.

‘But Harry had everything under control really,’ she sighed. ‘And I was restless. I feel my talents are best put to use righting the world.’

Ms Fitzsimons denied that her primary motivation in seeking the job was so that she could be Helen Clark’s boss. ‘Although that is a very attractive prospect’, she giggled. ‘But seriously, I simply cannot sleep at night knowing that Helen is shovelling GE corn into the mouths of the world’s poor.’

Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei said that Ms Fitzsimons had the full support of the Green caucus. ‘We are delighted that our friend will be striding the halls of power in her flat shoes and cloth bag’, she said. ‘We need someone like her running the world!’

Mrs Turei also confirmed that Prime Minister John Key had been very supportive of the bid. ‘As far as he is concerned, one less greenie activist in the Coromandel has got to be a good thing right now!’ laughed Mrs Turei.

Ms Fitzsimons claimed that she wasn’t worried about the culture shock involved in swapping the farm for the frenetic pace of life in New York City. ‘The UN staff have assured me there will be room for my worm farm and herbal tea collection in the office’. Although she has concerns about how Harry will adjust. ‘He has been in a foul mood ever since I told him he can’t dig up Central Park to plant a vege garden.’

The Fitzsimons’ farm will be turned into the new campaign HQ for the Coromandel anti-mining movement. Ms Fitzsimons will take up her new role in June.

13 Comments Posted

  1. We certainly do advocate on law and order issues, though that doesn’t automatically lead to media coverage. The usual complaint is that we do too much in fact, as you’ll more often see on this blog than the opposite, not that I agree. But do you recognise any other LO issues than cannabis reform as having importance?

  2. multi tasking on issues??? – i see you make no mention of the greens deficiency on Law and Order, which yes i believe does deserve some slagging.

    i am saying i expect ADVOCACY from you lot. you have way more influence (eg with media) than us.

  3. Well, climate change, resource depletion and poverty would be a few I’d rank at least as high. And yes, all are influenced or componded by the injustice that is cannabis criminalisation, before you point it out. Possibly better to say that I just don’t believe in single issue politics, whatever the issue.

    Btw, I could attack your intellect too if I wanted. Do you really think this approach is going to win people to the logic of your cause? You have heaps going for your position, a huge weight of evidence and logic that needs to be applied to the other parties and the population in general. Talk to the people who disagree rather than slag those who largely do agree.

  4. thanks Valis. What issue exactly is more important than decriminalising half a million non-criminals in the population? Especially in view of the ongoing law and order debate which it seems the Greens have no opinion on…???

    And isnt social justice the flip side to environmental sustainbility?

    I expect much better from all the science and law degrees and bright minds amongst the Green party or any political party for that matter. The difference between bad grossly inequitable law and good just law is potentially quite considerable. In fact technically it an *infinite* improvement to fix policy that is fundamentally and extensively wrong and abusive of people.


  5. Just checking.

    The Greens support decriminalisation for the reasons you state, so no need to imply otherwise. What we disagree on is whether it is THE CENTRAL ISSUE above all others. I’d like to see more emphasis on cannabis and would personally LEGALISE tomorrow, but agree with most Greens that this is not the biggest issue we face. You can disagree, which is why we’re in different parties, but let’s not forget that we have common cause on this and the real impediment is not the Greens, but the Blues and the Reds, not to mention their recent allies of other colours.

  6. yes i know Valis, (just playing along a bit) My own aprils fool joke was on trademe this morning at 7:55am but no one seemed to have got it (post by “starwagon”)about canabis policing –

    last time i looked, such are the dullards in the online community, regards to the greens as i too am an ecologilly minded Kiwi, but please get your heads around the criminalisation factor in NZ – it is DANGEROUSLY TOXIC and an impediment to all things green and good.

  7. would have to be more use than Helen clark and her lady friends who in 9 years did next to nothing to decriminalise us, and restore genuine social justice as advocated by Nandor ALCP Norml and mild greens (amongst many)

    The highly evidence-based intervention that is primarily required to get NZ on the right track is ‘decriminalisation’/regulation.

    but anyway Congrats to Jeanette. Please kick th UN’s collective asses and prioritise nullification of hte Single Convention (you know which one)…

    and please Green Party, in view of the massive social problems facing NZ including crime and family violence/ disrespect in the community, “get a handle on actual social Justice for once please”.

    Kevin O’Connell, president ALCP

  8. yeah or perhaps she needs a commission a Earthrace-style biofuel boat so she can see the grandkids regularly and still keep the carbon footprint down…

  9. With the trend to the remote office, Jeanette could run the UN from home, thus saving all those air miles and Harry would be happy. Win-win.

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