Finally, an answer

Geniuses at Oil Sciences have come up with a novel idea about how to stop the millions of barrels of oil from billowing into to Gulf of Mexico. And, you guessed it, they’ve put it up for sale to the highest bidder on Trade Me.

The Patented Underwater Oil Vent Containment Device purports to “contain any potentially contaminating oil spills beneath an impenetrable shielding of the finest rubber.”

Oil Services even provide instructions on how to use the device.

They are however quick to point out that the “patented Handy Dandy Chain” only comes with one foot of chain and the extra 17,999 feet would have to be purchased at an extra cost.

Let’s hope Obama has this on his watch list.

11 Comments Posted

  1. Wowza! The auction has taken off. There are some pretty awesome comments and responses on there now.

  2. What ever happened to the Oileater we were promised in 1980 of “Free To Choose” fame..?

  3. Finally.. a touch of much-needed humor! luvly!

    BTW, I’m not one to put words into dbuckley’s mind but he appears unaware of the breakdown in bore integrity.. Recent comms output from B4black pee has them admitting to where the mud actually went – yep the bore’s crackup ie below the seabed..

    that said all are invited over to Me & Em later where further fun runs in tandem with serious soul-seeking in their cees before pees debate about to get underway..

  4. Did some reading on this fiasco yesterday; based on the reading, if the “Patented Underwater Oil Vent Containment Device” were to be inserted (hard!) where the oil comes out, then rather than abating the flow of oil, the entire BOP stonk would shoot upwards, collapse, and fall to the ocean floor, and oil would then be gushing from the seabed, because the well itself has incomplete structural integrity. That would be an even more difficult problem to solve than the current mess.

    If the “Patented Underwater Oil Vent Containment Device” would work, then so would the mud containment methods tried initially. Because the mud insertion didn’t fix matters, there’s something busted with the well itself. Mud insertion should have worked.

    This escape of oil looks to getting more serious and more entrenched by the day. I think the entire oil industry, and the entire American political system are in an “ask no (hard!) questions” mode, because you really, really don’t want to know the answers…

  5. it is also leaking toxic gas (forget which one)and this is the pressure source – thus the leak has an amplifier complicating simple blockage.
    Attempts have sprung several other links – I feel all they can do is funnel it to the surface and collect it there…

  6. Failed to mention the 10+ tons of depleted uranium it is made out of?

    I still say that spiking it with liquid N2 is the trick. The oil itself would solidify, along with the mud. Just need to push a small pipe to the bottom of the hole.

    Realistically, there is a fair to middling chance that an offset nuke would seal the thing… and a chance that it would release the entire reserve in a few minutes… and why a Nuke?

  7. Do you think that will handle the 5+ tons of pressure the well head is producing, or will it pop out like an overdue fart.

  8. I thought this method was the cause of several other Leaks springing from other points up and down the pipe – the last report I saw was talking about six or seven separate leaks…

  9. Isn’t this what they’ve Actually been trying to do?, Mega spanner, Ultra Scissors and Super Plug…

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