1. Make the liability customer feel at ease. Their claim has been accepted because due to the overwhelming medical evidence from their own doctors there is no way that we (Fidelity Life) can weasel out of it, the medical evidence supports their claim.
2. Arrange for the first monthly payment to be made and immediately go to phase one of the undermine and destroy your liability’s customers self esteem
Phase one: Send a private investigator to wait outside the liability’s customers house every morning. Do not concern yourself with blending in. You want the liability customer to know that they are under surveillance.
Phase two: Follow the liability customer whenever they leave their home. Have the PI follow them on foot into shops etc and stand there behind a newspaper looking like an actor from a bad 70’s T.V series. If the liability customer approaches and makes it clear that they know that they are being followed, instruct the PI to immediately scurry back to their car and then initiate phase three.
Phase three: At every meeting with the liability customer mention how poor insurance companies have to protect themselves from lying cheating liabilities customers but then assure the liability customer that you are sure that they are in fact ill as that is what their doctor reports state after all. However they must understand that the poor insurance company cannot let down their guard even for a second, and that if anything, no matter how small, changes for them they must immediately inform the company as otherwise the consequences will be dire as they will assume the worst.
Phase four: By now the liability customer is scared well aware of the consequences and will inform you when they leave the home and what they do during the day. Once you have established that they are leaving the home most days and have some kind of routine established total how many hours they are spending out of the home. Do not worry if this time is spent at the gym, hanging out with a friend or going for lunch, it all helps with Phase five.
Phase five: This part is fun important and will reward the hard work you have put in thus far. It tunes up makes it clear to the liability customer that Fidelity Life is not a company to be trifled with. With no warning cut the payment in half. Say that they have established that they can work because they are spending x hours away from home. Explain that X hours subtracted from the monthly amount equals 50%.
Phase six: When the liability customer points out that they are not in fact working or earning for that period of time and that the policy does not reduce until they ACTUALLY have a job make sure that you say nothing and just wait. The goal here is to starve encourage the liability customer so that they will be more attentive to job seeking despite it being clear that they are fucked in the head suffering a mental illness. Once they get a job you can then say if you have a job you must be 100% well, if you are well then you no longer are covered by the policy.
Phase seven: If phase six fails after 3 months reinstate the policy and backdate the missed payments. Apologise and explain that as some liabilities customers are liars you have been forced to test them to see if they are being honest. Ignore any mention they make of Doctors regular reports that state that they are ill. Specifically call them in to the Fidelity Life Offices and explain to the liability customer that it would really be better if they went and got ECT. The short sharp shock will be better for them in the long run. If they react or tell anyone about this just deny it happened, they are loony tunes mentally ill anyway and no one will believe them.
Phase eight: Patience is your friend here. After the tune up education programme the liability customer will be suspicious watching our every move. Wait another year then repeat phases five through seven.
Phase nine: It is now clear that the liability customer isn’t getting the message getting well, we must move now to slashing minimising Fidelity Life’s exposure to the liability customer. implement Phases 5 through s7 except this time make it 100%, and dig in for the long haul. Constantly explain delays in response as “waiting for the re-insurer”. The liability customer will eventually give up suicide seek better cover elsewhere.
That’s pretty much how injured people were treated by private insurers during the failed ACC privatisation experiment back in 1999-2000, I recall.
Now ACC privatisation is back on the agenda again, thanks to Nick Smith, and Paula Bennett and her Welfare Working Group are even hinting at replacing welfare benefits with some form of income insurance.
Funny how those on the political right don’t seem to get it – until it affects them personally, that is.