Greens call for horse lanes

The Green Party today called for horse lanes to be introduced in New Zealand towns and cities.

“We need to look for carbon neutral transport options to fight climate change, we appreciate that not everyone has the fitness level to cycle, and that think that horse lanes could be a balanced and workable solution,” said Russel Norman, Associate Green Party Horse spokesperson today.

“Getting people riding to work has a number of advantages it would reduce carbon emissions, create jobs in the horse industry, get people exercising, and produce manure that can be used in municipal gardens.

“Horse lanes are a win-win-win-win proposal; that’s four wins which is a lot,” added Dr Norman.

“As part of getting people back into work, the Government could introduce horse training for beneficiaries. John Key’s Government seems intent on making beneficiaries jump through as many hoops as possible – it’s only fair that they be provided horses to help with this.

“That makes it five wins for horse lanes, which is huge. It’s a lot higher win ratio than the Government usually requires for roading proposals,” commented Dr Norman.

“I’m quite excited by the possibility of more horses being ridden to work – they’re beautiful animals and I would definitely ride one if I had the chance,” said Dr Norman.

18 thoughts on “Greens call for horse lanes

  1. No Bruce, it’s genuine!
    (The real McCoy, dead straight, no word of a lie, straight up, tika!)

    The Greens have finally revealed their true natures and they are Luddites after all!
    You and I both knew it!!!

  2. OK this has to be an April fools joke, its far to stupid to be a genuine consideration, even for the Green party.

  3. When the time comes to rebuild Wellington following a storm surge, you can plan for horse lanes. Auckland is full of horse lanes already. Just get rid of the cars.

  4. I was waiting for someone to say “Greens promote “Horse Power” not “People Power”” and leave us all to figure out what it means.

    Confusion would surely rein. Especially among the “Neighsayers”.

    But enough is enough.

  5. Hey Greenfly, how did you get that photo of one of my horses!? That one farts helium (I needed a lighter gas in the gut to provide lift in the middle).

  6. Greenfly-When I say “working on” I am using the Nationalese definition which is; seeking advice and replicating countries where such experiments have failed. Obviously I don’t have much hope for a successful outcome for my genetically altered horse, however, this approach doesn’t stop our government, why should it stop me? The country will be over run by these genetically changed horses that will actually be hazards to society, but I don’t care because I feel I have a mandate to do what I want.

  7. Flash – John Key has gone one better and announced a National Horseway that is expected to create 5 million jobs, lift our standard of living above Australia, and promote the growth of hair on Rodney Hide’s head.

  8. sprout – when you say that you are ‘working on’ your wonderful horse, does that mean you are ploughing your field?

  9. Owen, I am currently working on a genetically engineered horse that eats waste products, farts pure oxygen and is very compact.

  10. Prior to the invention of the internal combusion engine horses consumed 40% of the grain produced in the US and caused massive water and air pollution in the cities especially in summer.

    The car invented primarilly to clean up the horse pollution.
    The subsequent release of all that food allowed the human population in the US to increase while eating more and better food.

  11. Is somebody being a bit silly?
    Horses are too tall for the modern urban environment!, clearly it would have to be ponies or bullocks :)

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