by frog
Judith Collins is the David Copperfield of New Zealand. Many magicians have attempted and failed to do this trick; I have never seen a disappearing act quite like this one.
The Set Up
Take one forty-foot shipping container filled with about $5000 worth of timber.
Place the shipping container in a non-descript lot somewhere in Christchurch and sit back.
The Trick
Turn up one day to find tyre marks and the container gone but the timber remaining.
Now you see it. (A Google Street Map image of the site in Christchurch)
Now you don’t. (Photo taken yesterday.)
Method
By the looks of things it was a rather large truck that shipped the container out. It potentially would have blocked off Brougham Street Expressway for a substantial amount of time. I can just picture Collins revving the engine hurrying up the boys.
Goodness. Perhaps Judith does have a bit of a green conscience. She did leave us some of the billboard frames.
However, on further inspection we note 200+ four metre lengths of 4×2 have been pinched (used as billboard supports and stays) and a similar quantity of 80cm pegs.
Total value of $2000 – $3000.
Not only did they take the container and timber but they also knocked down a fence and ripped up a garden that was on the plot. Sheeesh. Perhaps we should be investing more into rehabilitative justice than building prisons. When you have to steal to build them, something is going wrong.
It would be good to get the container back and even the timber. So if you’ve seen Judith driving around town towing a light blue shipping container please let the police know.
(A photo of our beautiful parliament taken this morning)
Please note that Judith Collins did not actually steal the shipping container.
Published in Justice & Democracy | THE ISSUES by frog on Tue, March 9th, 2010
Tags: christchurch, Shipping container, theft, timber
on the trolls and those who are unable to keep on topic
Weirdest post i’ve seen in a while. What does Judith Collins have to do with…this?
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Although, I’m not sure that frog hit the nail on the head with this post.
Satire fail.
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I wasn’t a fan at all of the shipping container idea personally, that is until I saw the quality and skill that was put into making them actually livable,They are probably far better pieces of Accommodation than what many students and Pensioners live in… though of course that is putting aside all of the social, court and correctional issues that have lead to their existence.
Though I have No idea what the hell Frog is talking about otherwise..
Satire fail x 2
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Yeah a bit. I assumed the last photo was a joke but everything else was kinda serious.
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frog,
find Jackson something else to do.
This even makes Salient look good.
Perhaps some idea of where the satire was going would help?
Bit of plot outline?
Context: who owns the land? Why are we caring?
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Katie:
Context en brief: Greens own the shipping container. Shipping container stolen. Greens have to replace shipping container and find somewhere else to store timber thus costing money.
The land was owned by a local group who used it to grow plants and who had kindly rented a corner of the land to the Greens to place the container on.
Moral of the story is that crime is bad… worse even than my satire.
Purpose of post was to draw attention to the fact that a large, unweildy and obvious container was stolen. This would hopefully solict response from public in case they had seen a large light-blue shipping container just lying around the greater Christchurch area.
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Good grief
What the hell have been taking today frog?
Tell us please so we can all avoid it.
Worse than Mallards accusation of Key wanting to legalise whaling.
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The heartless bast*rd!
Thanks for the heads-up Pentwig!!
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Can’t be Collins. She’s as dark a blue as you could ever hope not to meet. An inky, sludgy blue.
Your satire wasn’t as bad as your detractors are making out, Frog, it’s just that they are used to a very high standard of posting from you.
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Maybe frog could delegate the satire and parody pieces to us ‘fly.
Twas fun on the Ecan thread yesterday evening.
Wondering whether I need to update this, given David Garrotte’s latest foray into social policy last week?
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frog:
sadly, Christchurh is regularly awash in shipping containers on trucks, they go out to the port at Lyttleton.
If the port wasn’t checked asap, the spare container has prolly got itself onto a ship and gone travelling…
Good luck.
Chalk that one up to “and it wasn’t nailed down”, depending on which Christchurch suburb is involved, of course.
Lotta scrap metal in one of those, too…
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Frog – after studying the pictures of the crime scene closely, I’m becoming convinced the Labour was involved!
Did you see that red arrow in pic #1???
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It’s as big a conspiracy as the Brash emails ‘fly.
Subtle, frog, but good. Now that I see it (a couple of wines after getting home always helps)!
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I note your disclaimer Frog.
How do you know she didn’t?
Hmmm…?
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Who would take the container but leave the timber?
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Toad: I was feeling very meta yesterday. After all I am getting older.
Greenfly: I’m pretty sure Judith has better things to be doing: crushing cars etc. Also the shipping container pictured is on the front lawn of Parliament house where Labour’s offices are… interesting!
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