John Key versus Graham Henry

Picture this: It is one week out from the great All Black Wallaby clash. The ABs have just purchased brand new uniforms, the selectors have brought in a few new players, and the management team have just christened their shiny new office. Graham Henry fronts up to the cameras and says:

Well, we actually think the game is going to be really tough. We have looked over the Katikati RFC playbook and we reckon we’re  going to try our best and get 10 or 20 points on the board, but it’s going to be really hard.

That 10 or 20 points is conditional, don’t you know, on whether Dan Carter plays, whether the pitch has been mowed properly and whether or not the fans are polite on the night. If those conditions are met, I think we’ll be able to get 10 or 20 points on the board.

Our circumstances are unique and we think that the Aussies will recongnise that and take it into consideration when we square off in Wellington this weekend.

Can you imagine Graham Henry saying that at a press conference? This is precisely what John Key did yesterday at the post cab. He let his junior coaches spin the yarn, but the message was clear. We aren’t even going to try, and we hope that the others will play nice on the night.

How is it that Nick Smith can spend upwards of a million dollars refurbishing the Ministry for the Environment’s offices and reshuffling bureaucrats, but he can’t do a simple bottom up analysis of how New Zealand could lower its greenhouse emissions?

If Henry fronted up like this he would be fired in a minute. Too bloody hard? Get real! If Henry fronted up and said he hadn’t really done any of the homework, but he thought the ABs might still manage if the conditions were right, we’d fire him. So. John Key. Where the bloody hell are you?  If we can do it, why can’t you?

20 thoughts on “John Key versus Graham Henry

  1. hey guys – Coach Graham Henry never said this!!!

    It was a metaphor for how our climate change minister is talking about climate change. Truly unacceptable rubbish!!

  2. As a coach, you should always remain sure of your team’s win! Always say that it is impossible to think of loosing. This way the competing team will be affected. If you act like Graham did- the competing team would love it and their confidence will rise more and more. While, when you remain sure of your win- the other team might lose some of its mental power and this may lead them to lose the game. Common! Think of psychology! Think and talk about winning- and you might actually win!

  3. It is ridiculous that the team’s management got all of the benefits of refurbishing their offices, and getting all this money for new uniforms, and even choosing some new excellent players, and still have enough confidence to stand out and tell everyone that they do not think they will be able to win the game. And all that with a claim that it is ‘just too hard’. It makes no sense to me. I agree that the message was clear and that they are not even going to try. It seems that all of the benefits they received just made them get used to being lazy. It is indeed a very lazy approach.
    The funny thing is that Graham talks to the crowd in such a silly way, when he says that ’10 or 20 points is conditional, don’t you know’? – What does he mean? We do know! We know they should be playing in the best way possible and even if they do not actually believe they can win- The audience should never hear this kind of low confidence.

  4. Wow, this is such a shocking article. I can not believe that Henry Graham actually said that. How does anyone get enough guts to say something like that and think that no one will laugh at him?
    I am sure they can win just like that, without having the right conditions as Graham claims. Carter should not be the condition to wether or not they win. And of course, the lack of politeness of the fans should never be the reason for a failure.

  5. Ban Poisons Now Fly….especially so on high ground or near water – if this wiz th US or Awstralia – there’s an excellent chance a Judge would make them cease and desist at once, make reparations etc (probably a score of other countries I haven’t lived in too).
    Here…..well….anything goes…pretty much across the board – if only we could lure some intelligent Kiwi’s back home….any intelligence from anywhere would be usefull – I get into trouble for leaving the ‘I’ out of SIS – apart from the unhappy historical connection; it seems to hurt (must be true hey?)
    Even Pete likes to Holiday at Davo’s – which I’ll bet iz not in NZ.. eh….eh…?
    The mustelids are burrowers Fly; rat tunnels like the Cong – now, who volunteers to go in wid’ de torch an de 45….?
    Watchya doing in the Holidays Sapient?
    Want to shoot Rats down the Tip?

  6. Mark – we’ve a connundrum here. There’s a group of ‘pest busters’ doing sterling work poisoning the rodents and mustelids in the native reserve at the top of the hill, the birds have returned in numbers so great that a falcon has moved in to control the populations, trouble is..they’re a bit careless with their baits and there are dozens of small streams and springs that emenate from there, water sources that could serve the locals for drinking water (as an alternative to the sh*t that comes from the dairy-ruined river – source of the town supply. Mines off the roof). At least it doesn’t flow to the coast, as seems to be the issue up north.

  7. ps ‘ the Auckland bizzo will be DOC poisons Fly; when I was starting a native Bird Sanctuary in Northland, they were VERY keen to help by laying poison everywhere on the mountain, including water sources – several long lectures on their destructive ideas put them off my property, but not off the idea I’m afraid.

  8. Those jellyfish have to be good for something damn it. If anyone could figure out what they’d make a bloody fortune.

    BJ

  9. Massive pink jellyfish clogging the Yellow Sea and canine-killing sea slugs washed up on Auckland beaches – what’s happening to our oceans??

  10. Those cyclonic, 2 metre a day summer rains off the quaking coast of China – that’s some weather!

    Could be worse.

  11. proof Frog, that not everything that falls downhill is waste!
    lol our last effort at mixing sport and politics was rather entertaining what?
    my mum says ‘it brougtht them all out of the woodwork”
    Why do I know who she was talking about?
    So John Key’s Team would cite bad weather, cede the match, and be blown with it eh….phil lookie….eh?
    Not the way we do it here Cuzzy
    but thanks anyway, I wont need an whole age of Stupid.

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