by frog
In a bold move to combat global warming and the Government’s indifference to New Zealand’s Kyoto commitments, the Green Party is leading from the front and will immediately stop using most electrical appliances in its Parliamentary offices as of today.
“The current Government’s laissez-faire attitude to carbon emissions means that more needs to be done. The parliamentary Green Party has decided the only way we have any hope of meeting our commitments to the global village is if people flick the switch – permanently,” said Green Party Co-leader Dr Russel Norman.
As of this afternoon all media statements will be hand delivered to the parliamentary press gallery. Rather than wasting power using energy-sapping computers, staff will type media statements on recycled paper.
Typewriters reclaimed from landfills will take the place of the energy-gobbling desktops and give the Green Party a distinct point of difference from the usual bland emailed press statements of other parliamentary parties.
To further differentiate the Green Party all releases around the ‘Green New Deal’ will be written using recycled fountain pens sourced from an organic Bolivian Emu farm. Recently elected US President Barack Obama is understood to favour this form of communication with his closest advisors due to its sustainable nature.
It is estimated the energy saved by this initiative will cancel out 0.000000001% of the country’s Kyoto obligations and the anti-environment policies that the present Government is intent on implementing.
“This may seem trivial to the media but the fact our media unit is willing to get ink stains on their best clothes shows the commitment the Green team has to doing our global duty,” said Green Party Co-Leader Jeanette Fitzsimons.
Note: It would be appreciated if, once read by the media, statements could be sent back so that the other side of the paper can be used the next day.
Published in Parliament by frog on Wed, April 1st, 2009
Tags: kyoto, Obama, Parliament
on the trolls and those who are unable to keep on topic
Yes We Can!!! Forget the cuppa coffee – gimme scotch evytime.
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Interesting day for Helen to get a new job hey?
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She brought that job by donating my taxes to the most corrupt organisation in the world. From USD1M to USD12M in 9 years.
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This is a joke, right?
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According to that infallible storehouse of mankind’s accumulated wisdom “Traditionally, in some countries, the jokes only last until noon: like UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada, someone who plays a trick after noon is called an “April Fool”.[1] Elsewhere, such as in Ireland, France, and the USA, the jokes last all day.”
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Which is why Kevyn, Irishmen abroad have such a poor reputation. Anyway, I found a couple more Name Changes; Whaitara, Wakatane, and not forgetting the Whonderful Whaikato.
Incidentally GW Denyer – there is something definitely wrong with the UN – it’s a Sodom and Gomorrah Bludgefest – care to elaborate on any info you may retain as to why they can’t pull off a Rosary in Church?
kiore; it’s a much bigger joke than any of us imagined I fear – I hereby apply for the role of Court Jester….
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In ireland it lasts 365 days!!!!!!!!!
Everyday is Groundhog Day.
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Yair I visited there (th UN) and any large building without workers is a sus entity by definition. I’ve heard Ireland is that good/bad – even my German friends, given a choice of Euro countries to Visit, unhesitatingly proclaim IRELAND!!!
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Thank you for making a stand, but earth hour was several days ago. Can I suggest that you have also forgotten all the extra human effort which will go to punching keys on a smelly old typewriter instead of a modern computer keyboard?
We are already concerned about the enormous bio footprint created by the green party.
Therefore, can we have an assurance that tofu rations will not be increased as a result?
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Much better than the Dompost’s lame effort – the ‘advert’ on pg A7.
[ ..saving you my ticket stubs for recycling into more handmade paper
...]
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You’re not bad at this lark frog, not bad.
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frog
nice one
gud on yer m8
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katie Says:
April 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 am
> Much better than the Dompost’s lame effort – the ‘advert’ on pg A7.
I think that was a proper paid advertisement from the Rotorua Tourist Board (or whatever they’re called), so it’s actually the Rotorua Tourist Board’s joke, not the DomPost’s
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What worries me is that there are so many in one day, I’m not quite sure that they were all supposed to be April’s Fools Day jokes. Some sound awefully plausible?
Trevor.
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So no-one saw this?
http://features.csmonitor.com/environment/2009/04/01/scientists-worldwide-admit-global-warming-is-a-hoax/
In an unprecedented move Wednesday, the Norwegian Nobel Committee rescinded the Peace Prize it awarded in 2007 to former US vice president Al Gore and the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, amid overwhelming evidence that global warming is an elaborate hoax cooked up by Mr. Gore.
A press release from the committee quotes a chagrined Rajendra Pachauri, the UN climate panel’s chair, who claims that he was the victim of a “cunning deception spanning decades”:
“I am deeply ashamed for having unwittingly perpetuated such a massive fraud on the governments of the world,” said Mr. Pachauri.
“It turns out that all that data from satellites and radiosondes, surface temperature readings, borehole analysis, measurements of rising sea levels, melting glaciers and permafrost, phenological data, and proxy reconstructions of paleoclimatic conditions were all fabricated out of thin air by my former friend, Al Gore. Now that I think about it, I suppose that we should have instituted some sort of peer-review process before publishing such alarming conclusions. Once again, I’m very sorry.”
After revoking the 2007 prize from Gore and the IPCC, the Nobel committee retroactively awarded it to the more than 31,000 people who signed the Oregon Petition – an appeal challenging the notion that there exists a scientific consensus regarding global warming – “for their efforts to pursue pure, objective science that is free from the influence of any special interest group.”
The prize of about $1.53 million will be divided equally among the petition’s signatories, whose expertise ranges from astrology to Intelligent Design.
For his part, Al Gore has owned up to duping the scientific community. In a blog post on his website, the ex-Nobel Laureate explains the genesis of his scheme, “now that the jig is up.”
As long as I can remember, my only goal in life has been to destroy free-market capitalism and replace it with global totalitarian socialism. But it seemed that traditional methods, such as guerrilla warfare, were proving unsuccessful. Then, one day in 1988, as I was strolling through the halls of my giant mansion, it hit me: carbon dioxide.
By striking at the molecule that lies at the heart of industrial civilization, I could bring the whole system to its knees and usher in a workers’ paradise.
The rest just sort of fell into place. I wrote a book, held some Congressional hearings, made a movie, dashed off a few pseudonymous journal articles on radiative forcing, and the next thing you know, I was on TV with Dave Matthews and Ludacris convincing people to purchase carbon offsets. Carbon offsets!
I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for that darn petition.
The New York Times quotes NASA climate scientist James Hansen, one of the most outspoken advocates of limiting greenhouse gas emissions, who says he bought Mr. Gore’s ruse “hook, line, and sinker.”
“I have to admit, Al got me good,” said Mr. Hansen as he packed up his personal belongings at his office at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York. “Despite my decades of experience in climate modeling and satellite meteorology, I would just get mesmerized whenever he started showing me all those fancy charts and tables. The man is a real Svengali.”
Not all scientists were fooled by Mr. Gore’s ruse, but many remained silent nonetheless. The Associated Press quotes an anonymous marine biologist at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography, who says she knew all along that “this climate change stuff was completely bogus.”
“But I played along,” she said. “The opportunities for securing global-warming-related grant money were just too great for me to resist.”
“Sweet, sweet grant money,” she added.
Following the Nobel committee’s announcement, national scientific academies from 187 countries hastily drafted a joint statement denouncing the theory of anthropogenic global warming and expressing a renewed humility in the face of complex natural phenomena:
It is our hope that, whenever future generations find themselves swayed by the notion that one can derive generalizations about the physical world by gathering measurable data and subjecting it to logical analysis, they will recall the humbling and extraordinary events of today, April Fools Day, 2009.
The only major scientific body not to sign the statement was the Royal Society of Canada, whose country has been brought to a standstill by a massive infestation of polar bears.
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heh, not bad.
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