by frog
It’s out with the Morris dancing and in with petrolhead culture as Green Party MPs take their off-site off-road at a rural four-wheel-drive centre.
Co-Leader Russel Norman demonstrates the appeal, as he guns his tricked-out Hummer H3 up a steep slope, using the crest of the grassy knoll to get some air time.
“This baby runs on pure testosterone,” grins the Aussie bad boy.
Meanwhile, his female counterpart, Co-Leader Jeanette Fitzsimons shrieks in delight as she pulls a 180 degree handbrake turn in her glistening V8 Ford Explorer.
Then MP Keith Locke makes his entry, sliding to an abrupt halt, his muscly forearm jutting out the window of his mud-splattered Nissan Patrol: “Mate, unless you get these puppies dirty once in a while you’re just wimping out.
“You gotta keep it real bro,” he exclaims.
Kennedy “Cowboy” Graham – dressed in a swandri, dungaree, and dirty dog wraparound sunny ensemble – carries himself with a cow cocky swagger as he climbs aboard his towering Toyota Landcruiser.
“Mate, this is going to make pig hunting so much more efficient. Forget lugging those beasts out of the bush on my shoulders.
“True that,” agrees Kevin Hague, clad in trucker hat and flannel shirt at the wheel of his Chevrolet Blazer. “Walking’s for wimps. Real men drive.”
“I suppose you have to be realistic, you know like Steven Joyce said, most commuters still drive,” explains Jeep Cherokee driver Metiria Turei.
“My Green conscience tells me I should get a hybrid SUV, but my petrolhead heart wonders whether it will still have that throaty V8 roar?”
“Yeah, it’s a dilemma alright,” said Catherine Delahunty. “How does one reconcile the all round performance with the luxury appeal of my Cadillac Escalade? I hate to create barriers, but I might just get the windows tinted so Gordon and I can travel incognito.”
Sue Bradford proudly displays the carry capbability of her new Lincoln Navigator: “This baby is perfect for demos, plenty of space for placards and megaphones. Hey I can even hook up my sound system to the outside speakers for public address purposes.
“It’s my mobile command centre,” she enthuses.
Sue Kedgley is tormented by choice, should she choose the Range Rover in traditional British racing green or a more up-to-date limited edition turbo-charged sport model?
“Now I can really relate to the problems faced by the Remuera and Kandallah ladies-who-lunch set. What a dilemma! How does one choose between performance and style?”
EXPLANATORY NOTE: All SUV vehicles mentioned in the release were electric powered prototype models, recharged at low peak electricity demand times, and with electricity harnessed from the renewable sources of wind and wave power. No rural habitat was damaged during the test drive sessions.
Published in Environment & Resource Management by frog on Wed, April 1st, 2009
Tags: hummer, lincoln navigator, nissan patrol, range rover, toyota landcruiser
on the trolls and those who are unable to keep on topic
April Fools day – where are all the tree huggers, pot smokers, save the volkswagon’ers, retired cricketers?
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I find this extremely unlikely.
I mean, who would possibly try to defend the Cadillac Escalade?
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That is all bloody funny.
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EXPLANATORY NOTE: EXPLANATORY NOTE: All SUV vehicles mentioned in the release were purchased by the MPs personally (who got whopping great tax cuts today) not by the long suffering working class taxpayer (who got diddly-squat today).
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These are all hilarious, well done.
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Annual write-in stand-up comedy competition compensates for complete lack of blogposts on last day of financial quarter
– headlines we’ll never see published in the Dompost
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Katie, say it, just say it, I’ve got vertigo trying to untangle that one
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