by frog
I have only ever thought of cricket in culinary terms, being a frog and all. However, last night a perfectly good political thread was interrupted by an outbreak of cricket. So this is a test. Not test cricket, but a test of having a cricket conversation on a political blog.
Toad has shared his/her preferred Test 11. What’s yours? BB wants something done about Ricky Ponting. If the idea begins on a political blog, would a hit on Ricky Ponting constitute a political assassination?
Should we use cricket language here, and discuss Helen and John’s form rather than just bagging them generically? I daresay John Key’s political ‘form’ has improved since all those policy gaffes, but has the National Party got enough strength in the middle order to carry off a successful term in government? I doubt it. Captain Helen was missing in action for most of the EFB debate, no doubt too busy coaching her ministers after so many were out for ducks in her top order. Parker, who’s been in top form for most of this season, cops an LBW while temporarily holding the reigns at MfE. Should we ask for a video replay? Probably not.
on the trolls and those who are unable to keep on topic
The best Team we’ve got is probably already there – what they need is to attend the Ian Chappell school of Cricket where you gather 8 guys three stooges and go out there and wage war on the opposition!
Maybe we need to hire Ian as Coach – that would change things considerably……..
Over 5 days – we just can’t seem to cut it. A day or two’s good play isn’t enough.
Strategy we are good at, it’s a case of being persistant and consistantly good (and occasionally superhuman) – with both bat and ball!
Ask Shane Warne and he’ll tell you that no Batsman saw him off the way Marty Crowe did – Kiwi’s just aren’t used to coming second.
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One of the problems that NZ has in cricket (and Australia in rugby) is a lack of depth. While it would be nice to drop some of the players in the current team, despite their bad form there simply aren’t good players to replace them with.
The other problem we have is the transition from one generation to another. We have a lot of relatively inexperienced but potentially very good players (Patel, Taylor, Gillespie), but don’t have the same number of classy senior players who can show them the way.
Unfortunately I think NZ is going to have to accept that with the depth we have we are going to experience more ups and downs than other countries. The Bangladesh series is a good opportunity for players to get back in to form, and gain some confidence. It should also be clear to any hopefuls that some solid performances in domestic cricket may see them earn an elevation to the top team.
One bright light is that England is looking pretty awful at the moment too.
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Now you are talking frog, I produced this for another blog site last night.
Lets stick with the cricket theme, perhaps a reporter covering the game from the LCC (Lickspittle Cricket Club) would file a story along these lines.
Controversy surrounds annual Tory V Labourites cricket match
At the conclusion of yesterdays play the umpires had cause to inspect the match ball after a complaint was received from the Tory’s team captain Mr Brownlee and their manager Mr Key.
It appeared that there was more wear on one side of the ball than one would have expected to see given the number of overs bowled, television footage appeared to support the accusation of ball tampering made by Mr Brownlee and Mr Key.
The Umpires then reported their concerns to the INDEPENDENT match referee Mr Prebble.
Labourites captain (Mr Parker) strenuously denied that the ball had been interfered with, Parker said “Mr Brownlee and Mr Key were simply trying to tarnish the good name of the Labourites?, the Labourites manager (who some says is the real leader of the team) Ms Clark added her weight to the controversy when she said “Look, the public have paid good money to watch this match, these sort of baseless accusations are not good for the game of cricket and I feel that Kiwi’s have said it is time to move on?
Brownlee and Key were not going to be swayed by that, both men demanded that the INDEPENDENT match referee look at the tapes, Key said “all the referee needs to do is look at the tapes, it clearly shows both the opening bowler Mallard and the off spinner Parker gouging the ball with a bottle top?
Indeed the tapes did seem to confirm the allegations made by Key and Brownlee.
However these accusations have been dismissed by Mr Prebble, his statement released this morning cleared Parker and Mallard, Prebble said at this morning press conference “I consulted widely with knowledgeable cricket people, indeed I took the advice of that noted administrator Ms Simpson and she told me she could not find on ounce of credibility in the accusations made by Key and Brownlee, therefore the complaint is dismissed.
Long time cricket fans were shocked at this news, many see it as biased and contrived to clear the name of Parker and Mallard both of whom have had recent disciplinary problems.
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Laugh Out Loud BB. A truly spirited commentary well in line with the theme. I’m not sure I’d place it all at both Minister’s feet though, leaving the excellent cricket commentary aside. Prebble said something along the lines that even if Minster Parker had never said anything, the proper procedures were not likely to be followed anyway, as they uncovered many breaches of the procedures within the Ministry. Sounds like a systemic problem within the ministry that was bound to embarrass anyone unlucky enough to hold the portfolio.
Perhaps it was the grounds crew who had already damaged the pitch and who supplied a ball already scarred by that bottle top! The head groundsman, for better of for worse, has already lost his head. But even he wasn’t around for the whole fiasco, so I’m not sure how much he should cop for it either. I suspect it runs deep and that a major shake-up is in order.
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End of season report
Labourites
The season can be best described as one of two half’s, the early part of the season was moderate, as usual the captain and opening batsmen (Clark) was the star player and batted well on most pitches, indeed many scribes suggested that the stickier the wicket the better she batted, her form and average remained high during the season and was only bettered by a late run from the captain of the Tory side.
On the down side she showed a complete reluctance to take advice given to her by past captains and remained somewhat aloof from the cricket public, as things worsened for her team in the second half of the season she started to blame the cricket media for the woes of her team, however as we go into the new season she remains by far the best player in the Labourites side and is still the prize wicket for opposition bowlers.
Sadly the good form shown by her did not extend to the rest of her team, in particular the off spinner Field suffered from constant media questions regarding his action, as the year went on he came under increasing scrutiny from the media and the cricket public, the nadir for Field was the release of a damning report from the ICC that seemed to support the accusations that Field was indeed throwing the ball.
The row developed to the stage that the captain of the Labourites felt she had no other option but to drop Field from the side.
The other opening spot proved to be more troublesome, despite his vast experience Cullen had a season to forget, the problems started early when the Wisden reporter Mr Espiner questioned Cullen’s continued use of the ultra aggressive run gathering approach, Espiner suggested (quite reasonably) that perhaps Cullen might look at picking up the ones and two’s rather than going for the boundary at every opportunity.
Cullen who was once one of the more popular players in the side seemed to lose all respect for the average cricket follower, when it was suggested to him that the public might enjoy him being a little more cautious with his approach he dismissed this as the views of a few cricket journalists.
It must be said that time may well be running out for Cullen, his captain must be considering a change in opening partners for the last season before the next world cup.
The real problems came in the Labourites middle order, whereas in previous seasons she could rely on the confrontational batting style of Benson Pope, King and Hodgson this season proved to me much harder for that trio, game after game they seemed to play and miss with monotonous regularity.
Again Clark was forced to make changes mid season when Benson Pope’s form became a liability, it looks as if Benson Pope’s best years are behind him and despite urgings from the selectors to retire he seems determined to hang around in the hope of securing a new contract.
The Labourites problems are best demonstrated by the antics of the wicket keeper Mallard, while Mallard has always had always indulged in sledging on the field of play he took things to far on numerous occasions this season, the very worst examples being the changing room scuffle with the Tory’s fast bowler Henare and the uncalled for and irrational personal attack on a scoreboard attendant (Ms Leigh)
All in all it was a season that the Labourites and Clark in particular would want to forget, she needs to carefully consider how she will approach the new season and look at the possibility of making replacements.
She did seem to have one ready made middle order batsmen in Chaval however he may have to cool his heels for a while yet after his unfortunate outburst when not selected for one of the last tests of the season.
A review of the seasons strongest side and the other teams will follow.
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reason we don’t have the classy senior players is because of the long-standing selection philosophy of selecting young promising players who’ve barely even broken into first class cricket & putting them into the test team & leaving them there no matter how badly they perform (“supporting them”). if you don’t “make it” at a young age, there is small chance of playing for nz ever, the incentive isn’t there for people to stick around in the first class scene if they didn’t get lucky virtually just out of school.
in oz, they select players who’ve excelled in the first class domestic competition for a few seasons. they’ve got the personal resources built up & aren’t all flaky like ours, plus the competition’s stiff because there’s more incentive for ambitious good players to stay on even if they don’t come to the favour of the national selectors early.
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End of Season report
Greens
A mixed year for the Green team, while the co captain and on field leader Fitzsimons enjoyed another consistent year some of her team mates did not have their best seasons.
Fitzsimons was the best player on the Green team by some distance, she was well supported by Kedgley and on the odd occasion Turei.
Fitzsimons was able to play the most hostile of bowling with relative ease, her refusal to reply to the on field sledging of Cullen in particular only added to her growing reputation as a leader of substance and standards.
The one area of concern is her continuing campaign for the compulsory wearing of sun glasses on the field of play, sure there may be some scientific evidence that not wearing sunglasses can affect the players the scare tactics and emotional language she used ostracized certain sections of the cricket public.
Kedgley also enjoyed a reasonable season, she remains one of the more level headed Greens (like her captain Fitzsimons) and can be relied upon to produce a good innings when needed.
Turei had mixed results, perhaps with a few more seasons under her belt she may settle down to become a vital member of the team, at times she flayed the bowling and looked at ease even in the face of some hostile attacks however there was the odd occasion when she let herself down and played a reckless innings, her support of the HTS (Home team does the scoring) initiative proposed by the Labourites was the one big area of disappointment.
Bradford spent the season arguing with the vast majority of the spectators, her insistence that they must not eat white bread while watching the game was seen by many as unnecessary, most were of the opinion that what a spectator chooses to eat at the cricket is his or her business, the fact that Bradford managed to convince the ICC that this rule should be imposed upon the fans will no doubt have repercussions next season.
Tanczos had a quiet season, while his form has always been erratic he seemed to be playing within himself for the entire season, as always he remains popular with a small section of the spectators who seem to view the game through a blue haze.
There are very few words that can accurately describe Locke’s season, he waged a one man campaign to have the former convicted match fixer Mr Zaoui admitted as a member of the ICC despite the vast majority of the members being against this move.
His form was erratic and unreliable at the best of times, when the game situation called for a battling innings he seemed more interested in what was happening in other games, he spent an ridiculous amount of time attacking the playing tactics of the USA team and seemed to reserve a special dislike for the USA captain Mr Bush.
The next season will be vital for the Green team, one would hope that the move by the co captain and off field leader Mr Norman to have the playing strip changed from Green to Red will be defeated and that Mr Norman will learn what it is that many fans find attractive about the Greens style of cricket, his insistence on moving toward a more structured and controlled game plan will not go down well with the fans, one can only hope that his team members can convince him that the best way to get results for the Green team relies on them playing their natural game.
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When design engineers get together they often talk about football.
When Middle management meet, they talk about tennis.
When top management meet they talk golf.
Conclusion: The higher you climb in the corporate ladder the smaller your balls become.
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Deryk
“Conclusion: The higher you climb in the corporate ladder the smaller your balls become.”
That is why the self employed go yachting. The size of your “balls” is in the actions you take on the water.
And when things go wrong the self employed are steely self reliant and in Sir Peter Blakes immortal words ‘you cant call crying for your mummy’ when things go wrong, miles from home.
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Our cricketers are like the current crop of politicians , that is , pathetic jokes .
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I think that the core problem behind our lack of consistent on field performance is like the core problem behind climate change. Population. For one we don’t have enough people the other to many. Perhaps someone would like to do to the ultimate in political-sport geekery and produce some per capita stats on our sports performance as a nation vs australia! I would suspect that we would outperform australia on a per capita basis. This I suppose would also depend on how you measure your stats. i.e. if compulsory Sport Undertaken in Primary Education and Recreation and levels of capital investment undertaken are taken into account were the balance would lie?
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yes Big bro, but as we watch the players depart the field on the penultimate day of this three day fixture, I would just like to draw our listeners attention to the consistent problems with the existing methods of scoring.
Unfortunately there has been discrepancies in the past between scoring done by the match officials and that done by the various commentary teams in attendance at the Basin Reserve. This is made worse by the lack of real time scoring information given by officials and lack of comprehensive scoring info by the commentators. Often errors are not detected until after the match has finished and the prize giving has occurred. I see this as a small step towards a more comprehensive system being developed in the future.
We would not want a repeat of the last match where the Fox commentary team got bored with play and started commentating on a fictional game. This was made worse when the Tory senior players waiting to coming out to bat in the dressing room didn’t realise what was happening and changed their batting order. They of course denied what occurred but an expose by a fan lead to the resignation of the Don. It is unknown whether the Fox commentary team are planing any ratings grabbing stunts for tomorrow but this new the HTS system coupled with input from the herald will hopefully see a fair result and no foul play.
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excellent luke, we should perform our comparison of the performance of the various teams after controlling for all the factors which affect performance.
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With the boundary moved to make way for the airport motorway today’s match at the Basin Reserve was won by New Zealand with an average of 54 runs per over.
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Back in the late 1970′s the star-studded West Indies Cricket team of the day, which included batsmen of the calibre of Viv Richards, Clive Lloyd, Desmond Haynes and Gordon Greenidge and legendary fast bowlers Michael Holding, Joel Garner, Andy Roberts and Malcolm Marshall were touring England.
England, as they usually have been over the past 30 years, were as bad at test cricket as New Zealand. After a poor run in previous tests, they drafted into test match duty a rather dour opening batsman with some recent form. His name – Peter Willy (he later achieved greater acclaim as an international umpire).
Anyway, the events gave rise to the cricket commentary blooper of all time. As the hapless new English opening batsman took guard to face the first ball from his ferocious West Indian opponent bowler, the commentator announced:
“The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willy”.
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I’ve heard the shortness of boundaries at New Zealand’s cricket grounds (which mostly do dual duty for rugby) cited as a reason for our poor performance. Personally, I think it might have something to do with us being the smallest first-class nation and having cricket as our second (if not third or fourth) national sport.
I wonder who the commentator Toad quotes above was. I did once listen to the BBC comment for over two hours on the efforts of the Barbados ground staff to dry their pitch out so that play could resume.
On politics, I’d say that much commentary *is* already modelled on sports reporting and entirely issue free already. No?
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Cricket looks like Organised Loafing – but once you get out there, with that hardball fizzing around, liable to break bones and remove teeth – it sure looks different.
Australians are (currently) the best because they rise to the challenge in a spirited positive way. That ‘never say die’ fighting spirit that turns things in their favour time after time.
We tend to build our guys up as Heroes before they even take the field (remember the Year of the ‘Young Guns’?)
That is a lot of expectation riding them – and it works against the “nothing to lose, everything to gain” attitude needed for success.
Training is the key – playing in Australia, in a Team with a lot of Sri-Lankan guys, I was taught all manner of skills that just aren’t in our teaching.
Craig McMillan was, for mine, the best adapted man for the job I’ve seen in our guys for a long while.
You can do it Kiwi’s – just be positive!
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Breaking news…
It seems that the BCCI may be about to cancel the remainder of the Aussie tour, the Indian team were due to fly to Perth for the third test but have been instructed to remain in their hotel and their rooms pending further instructions.
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